Friday, 10 February 2012

Friday Funnies.

Something to cheer you up on a chilly friday. Thought I'd share this email, it made me laugh anyway.

Extracts from letters written by council tenants:

1. It’s the dogs mess that I find hard to swallow.

2. I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my knob off.

3. I wish to complain that my father twisted his ankle very badly when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage.

4. Their 18 year old son is continually banging his balls against my fence.

5. I wish to report that tiles are missing from the outside toilet roof. I think it was bad wind the other day that blew them off.

6. My lavatory seat is cracked, where do I stand?

7. I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is coming away from the wall.

8. Will you please send someone to mend the garden path. My wife tripped and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant.

9. I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen.

10. 50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster, and 50% are just plain filthy.

11. The next door neighbour has got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just can’t take it anymore.

12. The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is cleared.

13. Will you please send a man to look at my water, it is a funny colour and not fit to drink.

14. Our lavatory seat is broken in half and now is in three pieces.

15. I want to complain about the farmer across the road. Every morning at 6am his cock wakes me up and it’s now getting too much for me.

16. The man next door has a large erection in the back garden, which is unsightly and dangerous.

17. Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two children and would like a third, so please send someone round to do something about it.

18. I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would you please do something about the noise made by the man on top of me every

19. Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job and satisfy my wife..

20. I have had the clerk of works down on the floor six times but I still have no satisfaction.

21. This is to let you know that our lavatory seat is broke and we can’t get BBC2.

22. My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage has fungus growing in it.

Thursday, 2 February 2012

New Blog, New Free pattern - Cup Cosy

I thought I'd kick off the new blog with a free pattern. Great for using up all that leftover sock yarn.

Sock Yarn Cup Cosy

Dpn's 2.75mm
Sock wool

Cast on 68 sts using a long tail cast on
Join for working in the round without twisting stitches
Round 1: (k1, p1) x2, k1, p2, k4, p2, (k1, p1) x2
Round 2: (k1, p1) x2, k1, p2, c4f, p2, (k1, p1) x2
Rounds 3 - 7: As round 1
Round 8: As round 2

Repeat round 3 - 8 until desired length, or you run out of wool.
Cast off loosely